Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
