I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so let's talk penis.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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