I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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