Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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