Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
