so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
