i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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