How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize