6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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