Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
