you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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