So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
