I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
