hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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