I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
