As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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