Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
