bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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