So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
