i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
