People with herpes should wear stickers.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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