she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
