id be glad to
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
