Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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