That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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