It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
