How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
