i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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