If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I touched a dick in church today
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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