So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
