My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize