Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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