actually, I'm a sock model
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
