bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
