I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
