literally had 100 drinks last night.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
