Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
