Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
