I'm lost and stupid without you.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
