i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
