sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
