i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
