i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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