Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Are my feet made of real feet?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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