I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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