I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
