Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
