We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
