Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
