I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
