i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
