I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Banned from zoo.
Again?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
