that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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