do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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