AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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