so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize